my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
