Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
