ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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