i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You may now shotgun with the bride
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
