I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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