dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
