they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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