just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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