so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
