I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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