See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
