I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
