Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize