I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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