she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I CAN MOONWALK!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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