dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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