have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
