I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
