So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
