Whod you bang
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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