i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
