if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
