the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
