if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
