i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You smell like stripper and shame
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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