Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
