I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize