We won't sleep together?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
