Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
