fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This is classic penis vs brain.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
