I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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