She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
