I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize