My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
