Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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