You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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