he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
