Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
