I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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