We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Who died my cat blue again?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
