i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
