I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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