After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
