Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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