I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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