Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I love you. Go after that dick
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
