All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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