He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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