I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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