dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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