Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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