take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
