You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
