at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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