He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
