Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
