i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
