Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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