My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the liver wants what the liver wants
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
